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By Hank Wilson – Doesn’t it seem like everywhere we turn today; hate and hatred is everywhere. Somebody always seems to be hating on someone else for something that another person said or did.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much hatred before or at least not so open and easily expressed. For a country where so many people claim to be Christians, there sure are a bunch who don’t remember the love thy neighbor or the forgive others commandments of Jesus. Nope, it’s easier to just flat out hate and let hate be the guiding light in life.  That way, you don’t have to try and understand another or even talk to them.  You can just snarl and ignore them. I must ask, is it ever appropriate to hate anyone or anything?

That is an interesting question, the book of Ecclesiastes does say in chapter 3 verse 8, “there is a time to love and a time to hate” but hate what?  Each other? Someone who doesn’t vote the same way you do? Or does it mean to hate evil, after all we are told in Psalm 97:10 “You who love the Lord, hate evil!” Evil is the key here and just because someone doesn’t agree with you, or look like you, or act like you doesn’t mean they are evil.  They are just different.  Now I have often heard people say, well the bible says, love the sinner, hate the sin, yeah, well, no it doesn’t.  That phrase isn’t anywhere in the bible. You are supposed to love your neighbor and consider them your brother.  In 1 John 3:15, it is written, “Everyone who hates his brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life remaining in him.”.  Jesus goes so far as to tell us, in Matthew 5:43-44, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” So the rules are pretty clear, when  it comes to other people, we are NOT, I repeat NOT suppose to hate them.  We are supposed to love them, forgive them, and pray for them. Otherwise we begin going down a slippery slope of evil ourselves.  Once hate fills our hearts and our minds, there is little room for love or reason or rational thought.  We are overcome with our emotions and that can lead us to destruction.  So what causes us to hate?

Well one issue is when we put our wants and desires ahead of everything and everyone else. Jealousy also plays an important role in the development of hate.  They have something or someone we want, we don’t think they deserve what they have. In Esther 5:9 “Then Haman went out that day joyful and pleased of heart; but when Haman saw Mordecai at the king’s gate and that he did not stand up or tremble before him, Haman was filled with anger against Mordecai.”  That old green-eyed monster gets in the way and overrules our common sense.  Makes us want what others have, makes us hate other people. OK, OK, I get it, I’m not supposed to hate, but I do, so how can I let it go?

One way to let it go, is to watch your mouth, be careful of the words you say, in Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger” I get it, you’re angry, you’re frustrated, but the more you rant and rave about stuff, the more you curse someone who doesn’t agree with you,  then the more likely you are to give into your feelings of hatred for that person.  Be humble, don’t be so caught up in your own opinion that that you can’t see anything else.  In Micah 6:8, “This is what He requires: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” When you’re humble and not too full of yourself, you have a much better chance of seeing life through the other person’s eyes.  When you don’t think you’re all that and a bag of chips, then there is room for you to understand a different opinion.  Let things go, Ephesians 4:31-32, “Get rid of all bitterness…Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted forgiving one another.” There’s that nasty F word again, forgive one another, once you do that  you’ll make great strides toward ridding yourself  of hate and hatred.  Try increasing the amount of love you have for others, it’s not enough to talk the talk, you have to walk the walk. 1 John 4:20, “If someone says, ‘I love God” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we have not seen?” Makes sense, doesn’t it?  If you are bad-mouthing people you don’t know, but have heard about, then please don’t pretend to love God. Increase your love for others. But what if someone hates me?

Well this is one of those things that is probably the most difficult to deal with, because we naturally want to get even with folks who don’t like us or who we think have done us wrong.  In situations like this I often think about the Apostle Paul and what he wrote in Romans 12:20, “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” I discovered that when I was nice to someone who was being a real crank to me or when I just didn’t react like they expected, they were totally surprised.  It catches people off guard because they are looking for a fight.  I find this especially true when people want to fight over political views.  If I don’t get emotional, and just stay calm and non-committal, they don’t know how to react.  Now in some cases, it infuriates them, and that’s ok, because that’s a them problem not a me problem. Now it can be tough to take that road, especially when it’s an emotional issue, but it is possible and that where the ability to count to 10 comes in.  Also over the years I’ve discovered not to automatically reply but to let things settle down and to ponder what I want to say.  Once I know what I want to say, I take a deep breath and relax and then if I’m angry I bite my tongue and change the subject.

Well that’s going to do it for today, remember Jesus tells us to forgive our enemies, let go of our hate and love our neighbors.  It can be tough, but it can be done.  Try a short little prayer. “Dear Lord Jesus, please send the Holy Spirit to me to help me understand how to control my emotions and let go of my anger and hatred.  Help me to know what to say and how to say it, I know that I can do all things with you by my side.  Amen.